For TV Nerds Who Care Too Much: Danul's Golden Globes Breakdown

Just finished watching my DVRed Golden Globes. :D

For an award that used to be prestigious, some of the nominees this year made me think I was tuning in to watch the illegitimate child of Emmy and Oscar. Thank God it didn't pan out like that...for the most part.

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Let me start by saying Ricky Gervais started out strong with his patented brand of barbed zingers at easy targets (The Tourist, Tom Cruise, etc), but as the night bore on, I could tell how uncomfortable he was up there. His jokes got more offensive and less funny. His closing comment, "And thank you God...for making me an atheist," was a step too far for me. It just felt wholly unneeded.

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The Social Network deserved every single award it got last night. Best Picture, Best Screenplay, Best Score, and Best Director all had decent contenders, but the Fincher/Sorkin brainchild was easily the pick of the litter. If you haven't seen this movie, SEE IT. And then talk about it on Facebook.

The only Best Actress award I was interested in was the one for Lead in a Motion Picture (Drama). Natalie Portman is a vision and was uhhhh-mazing in Black Swan. As someone who had been notorious for staying out of the tabloids, her recent slew of new films and personal events have obviously got her flustered, but she proved herself capable enough to charmingly stumble through an acceptance speech.

Burlesque's win for Best Original Song was a frickin' joke. In my opinion, "I See the Light" from Tangled was robbed. But this was a category full of headscratchers, anyway. I thought Tangled had it in the bag. But apparently the HFPA liked listening to Cher's guttural chortle of a voice.

Toy Story 3 as Best Animated Feature? YES.

Jim Parsons' win for Best Actor in a TV Comedy was made perfect by his humble speech and his costar Kaley Cuoco's incredibly adorable reaction. Honestly, I rewound my DVR, like, three times to watch her bounce with glee.

How's that for a segue?

We have arrived at the inevitable. The Glee discussion:

Glee is not a comedy. Yes, it started out as such, but it's devolved into a preachy drama with zingers laced in between angst and musical performances. So it's win for Best Comedy was incredibly silly, especially up against much more consistent shows like Modern Family (Seriously, HFPA?).

Jane Lynch has the same problem as her show. She excels at the comedy, but not at much else...which left me baffled when she won Best Actress in a TV Comedy. Her acceptance speech was nice though. She seems like a very genuine person...unlike Lea Michele, who seemed like an attention whore.

Chris Colfer...oh, Chris Colfer. This kiddo is fantastic at playing Kurt Hummel. He really is. But since his was the Best Supporting Actor in a TV Comedy, and since I have no doubt the scenes that got him the nomination were anything but funny, I cannot honestly say he deserved it. Eric Stonestreet from Modern Family (SERIOUSLY, HFPA?!) was the one the award should have gone to. And since Chris won, I can't help but think his career has probably peaked now. What other role is he going to get that he didn't get typecasted into?

His speech was great, though. I imagine if I ever won one of those, I would want my speech to be like his.

One more Glee thing: Everyone last night was talking about the show's inspirational attitude. Really? Am I watching the wrong show? Last I checked Glee was anything but inspirational. Everyone in the show is incredibly toxic toward one another, which makes the episodes where the kids are supposed to love being in Glee club (last season's finale, this season's sectionals) totally unbelievable. In particular, Santana, Quinn, and Kurt are all characters whose attitudes, motives, allegiances, and friendships change week-to-week based on what will best serve the weak plot holding the episode together.

This all said, I will still be watching it when it returns after the Super Bowl. I am only human, after all.

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Stray observations:

• Angelina and Brad seemed entirely uninterested in the whole thing. Why didn't they just leave, then? Or did they really think The Tourist had a chance?
• Melissa Leo is an actress I never seen before, but her acceptance speech was great. I may go see The Fighter just because of her.
• Oh, Robert Downey, Jr. He stole the show with his introduction of the Best Actress award. It helped that all the women went along with it, too. Why hasn't he hosted one of these things before?
• With all its problems, Glee truly does seem to have a cast who sticks together. They all were so completely happy for Chris that it almost melted this cold heart of mine.
• Olivia Wilde looked like heaven. I'm no fashion expert, but if she's not on everyone's "best dressed" list, there's no justice in the world. That girl is quickly becoming a favorite of mine...
• Ricky Gervais needs to NOT host another show. He's mean.
• Self-deprecation is apparently the best form of modesty, for many people went down that route. Robert DeNiro had the best line, though: "I'm glad you were able to judge my list of films before Little Fockers came out." Gotta love an actor who knows when his movie sucks.
• Megan Fox was allowed in? Hmm. Interesting.

On the whole, the 2011 Golden Globes came and went with decent results. Oscar nominations will be announced in coming week, and hopefully that voting body won't fall into the rut that the HFPA did. Anne Hathaway and James Franco will be hosting, so it should be a good show.

Sorry this wasn't a usual post, but I really wanted to jump on the GG bandwagon. I'm going to Kansas City this weekend for the ELCA Youth Ministry Extravaganza, so hopefully I'll come back having learned a thing or two worthy of sharing on here.

We'll see.

-Danul

Sermonella: Catch the Feevah!

What follows is the story of my sermon from January 2, 2011. Apparently, God saw an opportunity for Danul to just go head first into the new year.

The morning of 1/2/2011 dawned cold. Seriously cold. As I waddled from my car to the sanctuary with five layers of clothing on, I decided to check the bulletin for any potential issues.

Depending on whether you see the glass as half-empty or half-full, this was either my first stupidly brilliant idea or my first brilliantly stupid decision of 2011.

The gospel text printed in the bulletin was completely and utterly NOT the text I had been working with for the past week. Faaaaaaaantastic. (I guess I'm more of a half-empty person for this story)

As I cursed my iPhone Lectionary App, I started pacing up and down the main aisle in the sanctuary, trying to figure out a way for my prepared sermon to reflect the printed gospel text. It didn't happen.

Suffice it to say, it turned out that it wasn't as big a deal as I was blowing it up to be, which is too often the case. The presiding minister (a jolly ol' retired pastor within our congregation) eased my nerves as he said, "we'll just liberally assume people will be able to get over it," a phrase that ironically fit very well into my message.

So, first, here is the text upon which my sermon is based: Matthew 2: 13-15, 19-23

Now after they had left, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you; for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.’ Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother by night, and went to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet, ‘Out of Egypt I have called my son.’

When Herod died, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother, and go to the land of Israel, for those who were seeking the child’s life are dead.’ Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother, and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was ruling over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. And after being warned in a dream, he went away to the district of Galilee. There he made his home in a town called Nazareth, so that what had been spoken through the prophets might be fulfilled, ‘He will be called a Nazorean.’

And here is what you've been reading this overlong blog post for in the first place:

(Disclaimer: this borrows some points from my Christmas blog...but hey, what would ministry be if we didn't recycle ideas?)

Let me start by saying that I have a certain…naivety when it comes to Christmas. I love this time of year. I love everything that comes with it. I love the music (I've been playing Christmas music in the office since late October). I love the decorations (a special thank you to our lovely secretary Tina, who gave me my tree). I love the commercials. I love the TV specials. And of course, I love love love the birth of Baby Jesus.

And I cannot comprehend it when people tell me they hate Christmas. What’s to hate? The cheery attitudes?The sale prices?The tinsel and twinkly lights?The shortened church services? What, pray tell, is so awful about Christmas that people cannot simply enjoy it?

Some say it’s become too commercial. Some say people don’t celebrate for the right reasons. Even pastors say it’s become a time when their roles as spiritual leaders are shrunk into roles as entertainers. I get all that. I really do.

After the weeks of stress that went into our Christmas Program, I can definitely sympathize. With all the complications our little pageant was confronted with, there were times when I wanted to throw up my hands at the impossibility of celebrating Christ’s birth with 20 kids who I had to bribe with confirmation credit (it’s a very funny thing how kids will do so much work just to get out of having to actively listen to a sermon that they have to sit through anyway). But when that first musical cue on that Sunday night began, that impossibility was unfolding very possibly in front of me.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that Christmas will most likely always be a commercial smorgasbord. It will likely always be celebrated by Christians and seculars alike. There will always be things that make you want to run over a snowman or smack an overly-cheerful bellringer.

So get over it. Stop second-guessing Christmas. Better yet, stop second-guessing the simple truth of the baby Jesus.

Our gospel today features Joseph. He’s a guy who we don’t hear from after the nativity story, so it’s a good thing his supporting role in the gospels can be used to no end for sermons at Christmastime.

The angel told Joseph, “Get up, take the child and his mother and flee to Egypt.” And what did Joseph do?

He immediately GOT UP and took his family to Egypt. He did not stop to complain. He gave no “ifs,” “ands,” or “buts”. He did not second-guess the message from God.

There were probably a million reasons Joseph could have given to not go to Egypt. I’ll bet he wasn’t looking forward to dragging an infant along on a cross-country road trip. I’m almost positive he wasn’t looking forward to Mary badgeringhim to ask for directions every two hours. I’m sure he could’ve justified not going.

But like I said, he went. He GOT UP and went. No second-guessing about it. Some could even call his unwavering obedience naïve. And this is an example we today should follow.

Being naïve about Christmas, in my ever-so-humble opinion, is the only way to approach this time of year. With all the secularization of Christmas, it boggles my mind that so many Christians opt to turn up their nose at the holiday instead of choosing to instill its true meaning. We cannot afford to let that stand in our way of celebrating the “most wonderful time of the year”.

We can even see this naivety reflected in other nativity characters. Do you think the shepherds thought themselves better than others because they saw Jesus? Do you think Mary and Joseph even began to grasp the weight of the events of that night long ago? No way. Instead they unabashedly, almost foolishly, celebrated the birth of Jesus, without regard for anything else.

Because really, what else matters? Too often people try to dissect Christmas to find some hidden “true” meaning. But the truth is that Jesus was born. That is the purest way I can say it. It’s awfully simple, isn’t it? And we didn’t even have to get our hands dirty. No second-guessing required.

By now, you’re probably thinking two things:

1. Daniel is really trying to get us think about “second-guessing God”.

2. Christmas is over, so why has he been rambling on about it?

You probably can see where I’m going with this, but I’ll say it anyway.

We as imperfect humans tend to second-guess God a lot. We do it throughout the year.

There will always be reasons not to do things. We might say no to teaching Sunday School because we think we have no time. We might refuse to be a leader in worship because we think we wouldn’t know how. We might back out of being a youth sponsor because of horror stories we’ve heard from the youth director.

But if Joseph has taught us anything, it is to just GET UP and answer God’s call.

God has brought us together as First Lutheran Church for a reason. He has given each one of us tools and talents that fill precise needs. And he wants us to be unashamed in using them.

Sure, this sounds silly. In any other area of life, we would be encouraged to considering all our options and choices. We are told to weight the pros and the cons against each other and see which is best. I do my share of that. When I was searching for jobs at this time last year, I had a list of all possibilities, with columns for the options I liked and one for those I didn't. But much like the naivety with which we should approach Christmas, we should approach doing things in the church with a similar attitude.

2011 is here. Whether we like it or not, whether we are young, old, or undecided, time has brought us to this point. As the director of youth and family ministries, a position that all have you have graciously chosen me to fill for almost a year now, I extend to you all a challenge.

I challenge you to GET UP. There will be ample opportunities for involvement this year. And no aspect of our ministry- not the youth/family, not the education, not the worship, not the music- will be possible if no one in the congregation answers God’s call.

He’s calling all of us in special, specific ways. You just need to GET UP and listen.

It really is that simple.

AMEN.

Danul in the Real World: The Obligatory Christmas Episode

Let me start by saying that I have a certain…naivety when it comes to Christmas. I love this time of year. I love everything that comes with it. I love the music (The Glee Christmas Album is a new favorite). I love the decorations (I have a tree!). I love the commercials (the first one I saw this year was for Christmas-scented Glade candles!). I love the TV specials (“I’m Mister Green Christmas, I’m Mister Sun!”). I love the birth of Baby Jesus (You didn’t seriously think I was gonna forget Jesus, did you?).

I love this time of year. :D

And I cannot comprehend it when people tell me they hate Christmas. What’s to hate? The cheery attitudes? The sale prices? The tinsel and twinkly lights? The shortened church services? What, pray tell, is so awful about Christmas that people cannot simply enjoy it?

Well, let me tell you a little story…

It was early October. Being in Texas, the weather was still unapologetically warm, and the leaves on the trees and shrubbery were adamantly green. People were filing in and out of Target and Walmart trying to find costumes and candy to assuage their children’s appetite for the truly unruly event that is Halloween. But atop a hill at the cross of two parkways, inside First Lutheran Church, the office was buzzing with discussion of Christmas.

The advent of Advent was upon him and one young, bright-eyed director of youth and family ministries was scrambling to come up with a youth-centric event to celebrate the birth of the Christ Child.

I, Daniel Hofmann, was trying to find a Christmas program that would ease the kids of FLC into becoming more involved. As I had been told over and over and over, this was to be the first time in years that this congregation would have anything of the sort. Of course what I was really hearing was, “don’t screw this one up, you whipper-snapper!”

After much deliberation, I settled on a light play (more like a glorified skit than anything) set around the silly notion of the shepherds (you know, the ones from the Bible) being put on trial for disturbing the peace (you see, it’s funny because they didn’t have a judicial system). I was satisfied with my choice. Now I had to begin the joyful task of spinning play practice every Sunday after church into something young people would want to be a part of.

Let me tell you the real magic behind my choice: this play, wink-wink-nudge-nudge-ingly titled A Not-So-Silent Night (get it?!), was manufactured to be as painless as possible. The entirety of the play, from the dialogue to the sound effects, all came prerecorded on a CD. In essence, all the kids would have to do was pantomime the lines and actions described! It was genius! Genius, I tell you!

So Halloween comes and goes without many people showing a sudden desire to be in a Christmas play (go figure). About two weeks before Thanksgiving, I, the charming, naïve youth director decided to take matters into his own hands…something he really should have done from the start.

I divvy out parts, completely and shamelessly conning and bribing kids to participate with promises of stardom, free food, and confirmation credit (it’s a very funny thing how kids will do so much work just to get out of having to actively listen to a sermon that they have to sit through anyway).

We begin our first practice that next Sunday. I bring the promised free food and look out to see only about half the people I gave parts to.

No matter, I tell myself, it’s only the first practice. So all we do is eat pizza and listen to the prerecorded CD. I left that practice none too reassured.

Our next practice was when things actually started rolling. We began in the sanctuary this time, and each child star was given a script to follow along with as we played the CD. Of course, this proved too much for the ittie bitties and some of the more…attention-deficit older kids. We struggled along on shaky ground until a particularly exasperated mother offered the suggestion that the kids actually say the lines. Unsure of what would happen, I agreed that we could try this. So yes, we were rolling, but the question of rolling uphill or downhill remained unanswered.

The practice after that (the Sunday after Thanksgiving) was the first one where I actually thought we were putting something together worth seeing. Sure, the kids still had their faces glued to their scripts, but they were actually getting into it…as much as confirmation-age kids can get into a children’s pageant. The only problem was, we still had not had a practice with all parts present.

My love for the winter months was beginning to wane. It didn’t help that my mother called to tell me that she and the rest of my family would be trekking to Longview to see my production. It also didn’t help that the greater population of adults within my congregation had not come forward to help out.

The final week of practice loomed its ugly head on Sunday December 12. We would have one more practice that afternoon, a dress rehearsal on Saturday, and then the finished performance the next Sunday, December 19. I stressed to everyone that dress rehearsal was not an option. I must have sent about three reminder emails that week, praying to God that everyone would show up.

On the night of the dress rehearsal, we were missing four kids. The projectors were acting up. The set was still not complete. And my parents were in town. If someone had told me to, “cheer up, it’s Christmas,” I would have punched him in the neck. I went home that evening feeling less than hopeful. At best, the show would be a scattershot of kids bumbling around the stage in funny costumes. I had so much riding on this event, and it didn’t look good.

The next day dawns cold and crisp, with a foreboding fog mystifying the ground. The morning’s worship time is a blur of people’s well wishes and how excited they are for the evening’s performance. Great. So excited. I spend the rest of the day getting the set ready and making everything look perfect. At this point, the silver lining is, “at least it looked great.”

To what I can only chalk up to a Christmas miracle, the entire cast makes it to the church in enough time for us to be more than ready for the absolutely unexpected throng of people that mill into the sanctuary before the show.

With a quick silent prayer and a nod to the kids, I signal to the sound guy to begin the music, and then we’re off.

Apparently, Christmas is magic, because every person hits their lines. Every costume looks fantastic. Every actor is speaking clearly and without slur. And people are laughing. Actually laughing.

The show ends with a rambunctious “Joy to the World” and as I step up to the podium to wrap up the event, I cannot believe how well it had gone.

Every single face is smiling at me. My mother is positively melting my face with her beaming grin. I stutter through a quick thank you and begin to walk down the aisle. Not daring to look anywhere but at the double doors ahead of me, I see out of my peripherals every person standing and applauding. One even shouts my name. I make it out of the sanctuary and lock myself in the bathroom, listening to the people outside praise the production they’ve just seen. Breathing way too fast, I lean against the wall and congratulate my reflection on a job well done.

Once I’ve calmed down and changed into a new shirt, I slip casually into the fellowship hall, where Christmas treats are being served as a reception snack. And when I say casually, I mean I was immediately bombarded with handshakes, high-fives, and someone even tousled my hair. Speechless, I simply smile.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I owe everything that happened that night to the kids. Without them, this would not have happened, and I do make time to say that to the room at large, but of course, the adults make no apologies for giving me equal praise. And who am I to stop them?

The night loses steam slowly; people dwindle out the doors one by one (my parents are of course at the height of alertness, conversing with everyone they can about the wonder that is their oldest son). As the last group hails, “good night,” I am more than ready to go home, crack open a beer, and put my feet up.

I started this post by telling you that I love Christmas. Like any TV Christmas special worth its tinsel, my story has gone through all the staples of development: the cute, naïve main character, the impossible Christmas task, opposition from Grinchy Scrooge-misers, a Christmas lesson learned, and a climatic happy, musical ending in which everyone basks in the sparkly joy of Christmas.

Where I hope my tale differs from others is the lesson learned. While the Grinch and Scrooge both hated Christmas from the start and were shown the errors of their ways, I began my story with an brazen admiration for the holiday.

I said before that I don’t understand why people hate this time of year. Some say it’s become too commercial. Some say people don’t celebrate for the right reasons. Even pastors say it’s become a time when their roles as spiritual leaders are shrunk into roles as entertainers. I get all that. I really do. Having had to put time and effort into what was essentially a piece of entertainment for the rest of the congregation, I can sympathize. However…

I also said before that I approach Christmas with naivety. And with all the complications our little pageant was confronted with, there were times when I wanted to throw up my hands at the impossibility of celebrating Christ’s birth with 20 kids whose attitudes said they’d rather be somewhere else. I guess you could say my heart was shrinking to three sizes too small.

But when that first musical cue on Sunday night began, the Spirit of Christmas Present slapped me in the face. That impossible Christmas task was unfolding very possibly in front of me.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that Christmas will most likely always be a commercial smorgasbord. It will likely always be celebrated by Christians and seculars alike. There will always be things that make you want to run over a snowman or smack a Salvation Army bellringer.

So get over it.

Being naïve about Christmas, in my ever-so-humble opinion, is the only way to approach this time of year. With all the secularization of Christmas, it boggles my mind that so many Christians opt to turn up their nose at the holiday instead of choosing to instill its true meaning. We cannot afford to let that stand in our way of celebrating the “most wonderful time of the year”.

Do you think the shepherds thought themselves better than others because they saw Jesus? Do you think Mary and Joseph even began to grasp the weight of the events of that night long ago? No way. Instead they unabashedly, almost foolishly, celebrated the birth of Jesus, without regard for anything else.

Because really, what else matters?

So that’s it. My very own Christmas Carol. Kind of a backwards journey, now that I look at it. But I hope you can find some meaning in it too. For all its ham and cheese, my story is one I’ll always remember.

I love this time of year. :D

-Danul

An Emmaus Reflection

First off, thanks to everyone who gave insight and guidance to my spiritual dilemma (OMG those actually exist) I wrote about in my last entry.

I have chosen to stay in the Sunday evening Bible study group and not attend the YL training. Like so many of you said, it wasn't worth it if I was not receiving fulfillment anywhere. However, since I feel strongly about the ministry of YoungLife, I have also chosen to serve on the local YL committee. This way, I can still have a hand in the ministry as a local professional, which, I think, better suits me where I am.

So thanks. :D

Now here's something I hope you'll really like!

Two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to go on a Walk to Emmaus retreat. For those who don’t know, this is a Methodist-born retreat that allows for a spiritual reawakening over the course of three days. Not an issue. Each retreat is gender-specific, so I attended with 30 other men. Not an issue. Upon arrival, I see that I am clearly the youngest participant by at least 20 years. A slight issue.

Now, thanks to camp-taught schmoozing skillz, I am rather comfortable talking to adults I don’t know. The problem is that a lot of older men don’t really know how to respond to me…especially East Texas men who were most likely brought up shootin’ deer and bleedin’ blood and twangin’ words.

Suffice it to say, I’m not the standard Texan idea of a man. And I’m totally fine with that. And it’s not that these older guys weren’t fine with it, but that they didn’t know how to respond to me. So, for the first day and a half, I was rather subdued and quiet. Which was…different, to say the least.

As the weekend tread on, I slowly became more comfortable with my assigned group, and they with me. But along with that air of comfort came some more challenges.

Challenge #1: Like I said, I was the youngest there. By a lot. So that was the first thing people saw when they looked at me.

Fortunately, the other men saw this as a positive- that I was so young and so willing to dive deeper into my faith. The first few times this happened, I accepted the compliments with an aw-shucks smile and a “thank you.”

Unfortunately, this happened all the time…to the point where I was beginning to feel undeserving and uncomfortable. I wanted praise to go to other people, or better yet, God. Just because I’m young doesn’t mean I’m amazing (no matter what we tell our parents).

Challenge #2: The Walk to Emmaus retreats are rather... notorious for rekindling one’s faith. Before I left, I was told by members of my church, friends, and family to expect to be reduced to a blubbering puddle of God-fearing tears by the week’s end. Going in, I honestly did not think that was what I needed.

Let me explain: I have never really felt separate from God. Sure, there have been times in my life when I have asked myself those questions:

• · “Why would God let this happen?”
• · “Does God really know me?”
• · “Who or what is God?”

But I’ve always known the truth in my heart: God loves me and has a plan for me. As a kid, growing in faith was not an option. Church was on Sunday mornings and daily devotions or Bible studies were expected. I was baptized as a baby and confirmed as a teenager. I have always been active in whatever church my family was attending. It apparently had such an impact that I chose to go into the ministry professionally. So throughout college I was also surrounded by faith-building people and events, whether it was Camp Chrysalis, TLU chapel, or a particularly challenging Ruge-Jones class. And of course, I now work at a church, where faith and study is front-n-center.

I don’t make a habit of claiming to know what I don’t, but I felt like I knew I didn’t need to rethink my entire faith identity because a few charismatic men told me to.

To put it simply, I spent a great amount of time wondering what someone like me could get out of the retreat.

The retreat started on Thursday evening with a vow of silence. We were told not to speak until the next morning after worship, so as to get in tune with the Holy Spirit. Thankfully, I had a roommate who, like me, did not fare well with rules against talking. He was a guy with two kids and a heart of gold, and talking to him was a welcome respite from the uncomfortable larger group.

The next morning, after we were allowed to speak again, we dove into sessions, or “talks” on different aspects of a healthy Christian life. Each talk was about 20 minutes in length, and after each one we were told to discuss the content with our table groups, come up with a summary, and plan a creative expression of the topic.

The talks themselves were fine. Many of them inspirationally incorporated the speaker’s personal life, usually a sweeping tale of falling away from God and finding God again in the lowest of places. Seriously, people got REAL. But as I said before, I have never been in such a situation, so I had a hard time identifying with the stories… I didn’t know what I was supposed to gain from these testimonies.

Fast forward to Saturday night. After another full day of talks, discussions, summaries, and creative expressions (and you had better make sure it was in that order), we were taken to a small cabin-like building for a worship service. By the time the service was over, late evening had fallen. The in-charges told us to line up by group, with our hand on the shoulder of the gentleman before us.

As we were led outside, the path we were walking was revealed to us, bordered on either side with lit candles within white paper bags. The path wound around the camp, going up small hills, crossing bridgeways, and looping around the pond in the center of the grounds. It was truly a beautiful sight. I marveled at the candlelight until we reached the dining hall, where we were met with calm singing. I was yanked forward by my own hand on the guy in front of me and was pulled into a crowd of people, each holding a single lit candle. What light wasn’t given by the candles was beaming from the smiling faces of all these strangers.

The crowd sang to us as we walked through them. Once we reached the other side of the room, we were told to sing back to the crowd. The candle-holders were silenced as the group of men began to sing- some voices shaky with emotion, some with nerves.

We sang the chant three times through. On the first breath of the fourth go-round, every single candle was lifted into the air and the volume in the room swelled with every single voice joyfully singing, the face of Jesus clearly lit up on each one of them.

In that instance, I knew God had led me here for a reason.

It didn’t matter what it was. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t figure it out. At that moment, I knew God would let me know his purpose in his own sweet, sweet time.

The next morning, I started looking at the retreat in a new light. I saw all these men around me.

• · Men who were old enough to be my father.
• · Men who were old enough to be my grandfather.
• · Men who had seen Hell and made it through.
• · Men who had met God on the path farthest from the right one.
• · Men who had raised children.
• · Men who had seen marriage fail and succeed.
• · Men who were on this retreat because they recognized the need for it in their life.

And these men were men I could only hope to be like someday.

After lunch on Sunday, we were taken into the same cabin-like building from the night before and each handed a thick yellow envelope. The group leaders told us to open the package and read in silence as they each placed an ominous box of tissues in the center of each group circle.

The first letter I opened was from my Aunt Hope, who I haven’t seen in much too long. She wrote of the times years ago when she would read to me each book I brought her. She wrote of how proud she was of me and my life’s choices. She wrote of how her sister (my deceased grandmother) would light up when she used to see me coming when I was a toddler. I finished the letter and wiped my wet eyes with the sleeve of my jacket.

Other letters I got were from the rest of my family, members of my Longview church, and even friends from Camp. Each one brought with it a surge of emotion and primal, instinctual agape love for each and every person.

You often wonder how people really feel about you. You worry if you are being the Christian God called you to be. When you get 30 letters not only telling you that you are being that person, but that all these people love you even more for it…man, it hits you like a ton of bricks.

As I was being driven away from the campsite by my Emmaus sponsors, I reflected on what I had gained from the weekend. No, it wasn’t a rededication of my life. No, it wasn’t a sweeping epic tale. But what I got was inspiration. Inspiration to take back home to Longview. I had been inspired by the events of the weekend. Inspired to be a man of God through the good times and bad. Inspired to bring creativity back to First Lutheran. Inspired to be the person everyone who wrote me letters said I was.

My Walk to Emmaus wasn’t a usual one. But it wasn’t unlike the walk the Gospel of Luke describes to us.

A couple of Jesus’ disciples were walking along to Emmaus when a stranger comes up to them. He begins walking and talking with them about many things. When they make it to Emmaus, they offer to feed the stranger. It is then that Jesus reveals himself to his disciples.

I went on this retreat not really looking for anything. I was introduced to 30 older men with who I had nothing in common. I went through the first few days almost ignorant to the Holy Spirit’s work. All of a sudden, Jesus slapped me in the face, as if to say, “WAKE UP.”

He had been there the whole time.

I just had to stop looking.

-Danul

A Very Thoughtful Blog Entry

Because I can't think of anything clever to start off this post, I'll simply remind you in all caps that HP7 ARRIVES IN 44 DAYS. OHGAWD.

*Ahem*

In other Danul news, my life in Longview has fallen pleasantly into an early autumn. As I write, it is a breezy 70 degrees (Fahrenheit, for the smartmouths out there) outside and I'm wishing to be outside. No color changes yet, but as it is October finally, those highly-anticipated oranges and yellows should be here soon.

This past weekend, I had the pleasure (?) to be the center of attention at Longview's annual "Touch A Truck, Feed A Family" event, benefiting the local community ministry organization. I spent the five-hour event atop a dunking booth, hovering above a tub of blurry brown water(honestly- it looked like an iced coffee after all the ice had melted); a sitting duck at the mercy of the hundreds of kids who could not wait to see me submerged.

Seriously, I must have been dunked over 200 times. I had to wash my hair three times before I actually felt clean again. But it was a good time. We were the "it" thing at the event, even beating out the baby animals and the bouncy houses. Go us. :D

You will all be undoubtedly be proud to hear that I have finally ventured out of my apartment and into the real world of young adults. And even better- it's paying off! However, I've been feeling a bit conflicted in this area, and so I've come to the blogosphere for assistance.

Not too long ago, I was attending a church fair at the local university as First Lutheran representative. It was a bit...unsettling to see all the other churches in the area set up shop with flashing lights, videos, free T-shirts, and multi-dimensional displays. It was definitely a wake-up call. I told myself to go check out these other churches and see what their stories were. God must've been thinking the same thing, because the first booth I went to was full of people who looked my age. I inched in a little closer, still wary that they could really all be a lot older, a lot younger, or a lot weird.

I got to talking to several of them, the whole time expecting them to bust out with some ape-crap theology or ask for a vile of my saliva, but none of that happened. Instead, they invited me to their Sunday night study group for young adults. I told them I would definitely be there, and with a homemade cookie in hand and a smile on my face, I walked back to my own booth.

I have been attending the group, called "Shift", for around two months now, and I'm, like, loving it. Good people, good discussion; good God, it's just awesome. I honestly haven't felt this included in a long time.

So there's that. And now here's this.

I've also become involved in the local YoungLife group in Longview. For those who don't know, YoungLife is a ministry geared toward unchurched high schoolers that sets up different chapters in each high school in the area, so each school has its own place to go. The chapters meet every week at "club" to play games, sing songs, and generally exert pent-up energy. It's a rambunctious affair, but I can see the kids love it. Toward the end of each club, the kids are quieted to hear a short-n-sweet message from one of the leaders.

Right now, I'm in training to be one of the leaders for a YoungLife chapter at one of the many high schools in Longview.

Therein lies my conflict.

The YL training is on the same nights as Shift, so I'm missing out on building friendships with this group that I truly enjoy being around. I feel spiritually and physically well when I attend Shift. When I have to leave early to get to YL training, I feel like I've driven away from the gas station with the nozzle still gushing fuel all over the now empty concrete.

At the training, I am easily the oldest person being trained. And honestly, it's nothing I don't already know. Having gone through camp staff training four times and taken youth ministry courses in college, I know how to handle kids. I also am very familiar with a lot of the theological training they are putting the trainees through.

We're reading a book by A.W. Tozer- a 19th century theologian who writes like he's amending the KJV Bible (it's really quite amazing to think how much language has changed in 100 years). True, I'm no stranger to fancy words, but my critically-trained mind wants to unpack Tozer's words while the rest of the young trainees are very quick to agree with whatever Tozer says. It's not that I don't agree, it's just that I would like to discuss them. One big topic is the moment at which one knows they've been saved, and how everyone should have one. While I applaud and support those who have had such a moment, I do not. I've had a lifelong close relationship with Christ, and I'm not going to second guess it because Tozer says I should.

I've already dealt with this theology. I've read it, considered it, and come to my own conclusions about it. I'm not saying it's bad theology or that the other trainees won't benefit from it, but that I've already gotten everything that I could personally get out of it. But I can't see myself sitting through another month's worth of weekly training, while missing out on something that is spiritually fulfilling to me personally.

For lack of a better word, I feel a bit more advanced than the rest of the trainees. And like I said, I would rather be at Shift anyway.

On the other hand...

YoungLife is a ministry I have personally seen God work through. It is indeed a great thing. I got involved in YL to reach more kids for my church, and I am sure that would happen.

But which is more important: my personal social/spiritual fulfillment or my obligation to bring kids to my church?

Recently, I thought I had this all sorted out. I was going to set YL aside (for the time being, anyway), and focus on building up my own spiritual well-being. But like always, God threw a monkeywrench into the proceedings.

I attended a YL dinner last night and basically had my mind changed for me by a young girl who gave a very emotional testimony on how YoungLife had changed her life. And just like that, I was back to square one. I knew I was being told to be involved.

I can say for sure God wants me to be involved with this ministry, but I don't yet know how. I can't see God wanting me to put my own spirit on hold, so I'm hoping and praying for an answer soon.

I'm meeting with the YL area coordinator this week to discuss this all with him, and hopefully he'll have an idea.

---

So that's the conflict I face right now. There's some more to it, but I got the gist of it together for you. I figure anyone who reads this can sympathize with at least one side of the fence I'm straddling right now. I'd appreciate any comments, thoughts, and even sternly worded critique if you feel I so deserve it.

I can't thank you enough for reading my rambles. I babble so much, it's not often I find myself with actual problems to write about. But my parents love it, so I keep on. The things I do...

- Danul

Movie Review Monday: Easy A

So, I honestly loved this movie. Easy A is "easily" the best movie of its class since Lindsay Lohan's Mean Girls. An enjoyable, hilarious movie-going experience coupled with smartly presented insights into an American high school.

This film stars Emma Stone (Superbad, Zombieland). If you haven't had the pleasure of seeing Stone in something else, this film is a fantastic starter. Though she doesn't have too much experience, Stone expertly characterizes herself as Olive Penderghast, the film's very likable heroine, whose reputation is exalted and subsequently trashed thanks to a little-white-lie-turned-rumor about her losing her virginity. Next thing Olive knows, she's being sought out by the school's most unfortunate male students who offer to pay her to tell people she cashed their V-cards.

The rest of the cast is full of "oh-my-gosh-where-have-I-seen-him/her-before" actors, which, for me, made the movie experience more enjoyable. Alyson Michalka (Disney Channel's Phil of the Future) plays Olive's BFF; Dan Byrd (TV's Cougar Town) portrays Olive's gateway vanishing virginity act; Amanda Bynes (TV's The Amanda Show, She's The Man) plays the school's venomous, judgmental Christian crusader (grr...more on this later); Stanley Tucci (The Devil Wears Prada) is Olive's father; Penn Badgley (TV's Gossip Girl) plays the quirky love interest; Thomas Haden Church (Spider-Man 3, Sideways) portrays Olive's favorite English teacher and Lisa Kudrow (TV's Friends) is the school's guidance counselor. This last one drew a delighted smile from me in the theater...I love me some Friends.

The story unfurls very easily. Nothing feels forced and everything feels so well-paced and thought-out. The humor along the way is executed with a class and wit we haven't seen in a long while.

As a high school movie, Easy A will amuse it's target of 14-18 year-olds without much effort. Those who have lived long enough to appreciate the different generations of high school movies, will be able to see the subtle social commentary within the film and reflect on it.

The film addresses that age-old question: "Why can girls have sex without being called sluts?"

It's a valid issue. And one Easy A chooses to poke fun at via Nathaniel Hawthorne's high school English class standard, The Scarlett Letter. Olive takes a cue from Hester Prynne: in response to all the finger-pointing and rumor-mongering about her fake trysts, she decides to give the public what they want and begins wearing a red "A" on all her clothes. Of course, what starts out as a funny joke quickly turns into an uncontrollable destruction of all her close relationships (and in one case, a marriage).

With such an issue as the main focus, one doesn't go into Easy A without expecting sex to be front and central, unless one is exceptionally naive.

Olive's initial fake romp to help out a friend's reputation is only the beginning of a lot of frank sexual candor throughout the movie. Olive also revamps her wardrobe from conservative-yet-stylish to downright slutty, complete with corsets and stilettos. Thankfully, no nudity is seen. However, parents be cautioned.

If I had one compliant about this movie, it would be how the Christians are portrayed. With Amanda Bynes as their leader, I expected a charicature, but what I saw was a bit unsettling. These characters are seen as the villains of the film; as issue-buriers, closeted sluts, and pious pigs. This made me incredibly sad. Is this really how the greater culture sees us?

This is made worse when Olive actually seeks out help from a pastor. He ends up just being a self-righteous jerk to her. Sadly, every single Christian character outright refuses to help Olive when she recognizes she needs it.

But even with all this negative publicity, I think Christians (and young people in general) can walk away from this movie strengthened. Christians can use the movie to see how to be counter-cultural (camp shout-out!) and stand out against the modern world's assumption of Christianity.

Unlike so many of its compatriots, Easy A is not a tale of losing one's virginity, but rather the opposite. Olive is on a quest to restore her virginity (which, in point of fact, she never physically lost) and validate herself in her own terms, not the terms of her peers. Young people can see this and understand that once you've made your bed, you must lie in it. This film gives great insight into the aftermath of a young person becoming sexually active and what it can do to your relationships. The baggage and destructive traits Olive takes on in the film are prime examples (albeit extreme ones) of what can come from doing it the wrong way and what happens after. The right way is something everyone must turn to God for. The Bible gives many thoughts on the subject- whether you like them or not, they're not going anywhere.

In this situation, Olive was lucky enough to get hers back, but in reality, that can't happen. So I guess my main point is this: youth are bombarded daily with movies, shows, songs, and even books that scream at them to cash in the big V. Easy A is a refreshing breath into popular culture that looks at the morning after and cautions kids to reconsider. If only the Christian characters were this helpful...

All in all, this movie is a good one. Full of great comedic performances, a really fun soundtrack, and a lesson I didn't see coming, Easy A is a future pop culture lesson waiting to be written.

Go see it and tell me what you think!

- Danul