That Yellow Stuff Sure Ain't Fairy Dust

"Daniel, welcome to Longview! We are so excited you are here!"

These are the daunting words I have been hearing for the past five days since I arrived in East-Never-Knew-It-Was-Here-Til-I-Did, otherwise known as Longview, Texas. It's about as East as you're allowed to go before you're no longer permitted to call yourself a Texan. Suffice it to say, I love it here...so far.

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The first night I was here was awash with new experiences. I was welcomed into the home of my pastor and new boss, who shall call Pastor Hogwarts from here on. He and his wonderfully sarcastic wife, who we'll call Funny Girl, showed me to the room I'd be staying in for the week. I unpacked a week's worth of my life and got in a fight with the dimmer switch. The dimmer switch won.

I went back out to the living room and they invited me out to dinner at Cheddar's, a place I decided was a Chili's without the Mexi-fluence. Our lucky waitress received some first-class flirting from yours truly and after tasting her recommended dish, I decided Longview could work for me.

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The next morning was, of course, Easter Sunday. I spent the entire morning wondering if my starting a new job on the day Jesus saved our souls was some kind of irony. I decided that if my life was a classic novel being analyzed by a high school AP English class, this coincidence would probably qualify as something.

I asked one of the moms if I could sit with her family, and while she didn't have a problem with it, her middle-school-aged daughter either always wears a look of mingled fear at church, or was utterly uncomfortable with a strange man sitting next to her. Go figure.

The service was beautiful. The giant white sanctuary felt like the perfect place to celebrate such an occasion as the salvation of mankind. There were lilies everywhere as music filled the room. One woman was actually wearing an Easter bonnet. I had heard of women wearing large colorful headdresses, but had never seen them in real life...kind of like unicorns. Or Bigfoot.

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I spent the Easter breakfast after church getting introduced to everyone and their mother. And I mean literally everyone. And their mother. It was Easter Sunday. Duh.

Of course, every time I would think it okay to take a bite of my food, someone else was making their way to me to congratulate me and tell me their names. With every well-wish and offer of good luck and, "we look forward to seeing great things from you", my brain went "DUN. DUN. DUHHHN."

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Monday dawned and I went to work. The phrase, "welcome to the first day of the rest of your life," played through my head all morning long. I was introduced to the future inspiration of many a fun story to be published on this blog: the church secretary, who will be referred to as Snickers from this time on. I decorated my office all morning, and spent all afternoon on Facebook, because that's how awesome our office is.

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Tuesday and Wednesday dawned the same as Monday. The sun rose in the East, Snickers made me love my job even more, and yellow pollen was everywhere. Apparently, from about mid-March to late May, the whole town is sprinkled in the stuff. It's like a giant fat kid shook the sprinkles can waaay too hard and the cap fell off. I mean, seriously. If you stand too still for too long, you can actually see the pollen settle on your clothes.

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I had such an idealistic, Never Land attitude about what I was going to in Longview. But alas, that yellow stuff everywhere sure ain't fairy dust. But still, the pros outweigh the cons, like, a zillion trillion to one. Let it be known that I am superhappy to be here and that I cannot wait to tell all four people who will regularly read this blog about all the East Texas shenanigans I'm going to get into. Word.

I gotta go shower.

-Danul

PS The sunsets here are OMG.