"Mawaige is What Bwings Us Togewaw Today"

Damn. I really wish blogging was as easy as so many of my friends make it. I have moments every day of almost-inspiration…you know, those thoughts that make you say, "PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THIS THING I JUST REALIZED FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER," but that never make it farther than a snarky status update in 140-characters-or-less.

Like I said last week, there is something major (at least for me) going on in my heart right now that I just don’t quite know how to put into words just yet. So…just stay tuned for that. In the meantime however, can I interest you in some shallow self-doubt?

I like to think of myself as someone people enjoy being around. I like to think I’m someone people sometimes even look forward to being around. I think I dress reasonably well for my socio-economic status. I like my hair. I have a accent mirror-wall in my apartment that, on certain days and angles, I stop by and crack off a grin to myself. I wear Old Spice. All this, and I've remained so humble.

So why is everyone getting married without me?

Indeed, many of my faithful blog-followers of are of the married- or engaged-persuasion. And I don’t fault you for it. In fact, I applaud you for it. Believe me when I say that I am happy for all my friends who have found wedded bliss. I just grinds my gears that I haven’t found it yet.
In a job like mine, where I have to carry on conversations with older, set-in-stone church members, I get the same obnoxious question asked of me all the time:

• "So, Daniel, where’s the girlfriend?"
• "Daniel! When are you gonna bring a girl to church?"
• "How are you not married yet?"

(That last variation is perhaps the most grating. It’s like, what am I supposed to say to that? I swear, it’s the most aggravating thing people say to me next to, "Wow, you are so tall!")

Wow. This is sounding like a major pity party. I was really only going for a pity reception. Whoopsie. Turn it around, Daniel.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I just can’t wait for this to happen to me. Of course, I've never been one to actively look for this type of thing, so I guess it's partly my own fault. The relationships I've had have always managed to happen naturally. And that’s the way (uh huh uh huh) I like it. I enjoy putting it in God’s hands and letting him worry (as if) about steering that special girl into my life. I just wish it would happen already.

The fact that it hasn't happened yet just tells me I'm not ready. It's not something I like to realize (be honest, who does?), but it after the frustration calms, it does make me feel better. If God says I'm not ready, I don't need it to happen yet. There are things in my life that I can admit need changes- changes that will only happen with dependence on God. Until those changes happen- until I get myself to a stable, healthy place in life- I'm okay. It's all in God's hands.

And, really, who knows? I could go get that milk I need and have a meet-cute with some chick who needs some eggs and who just happens to be a huuge Harry Potter fan.

OGeez, wouldn't that just be the best?

-Danul